4.word

I asked my fellow 4worders the following question: What do you want to achieve in 2011? I don’t know if they saw this email because no one has posted yet, but all our lives have been a little busy. However, last night I had the opportunity to go through a little crazy/anger/sadness mode that got me to thinking and writing. This post is rather long, but here are my musings: 

If you didn’t know I am turning 21 on April 12, 2011. This is going to be the next chapter in my life. And, in preparation for this monumental event, I have complied a list of 21 things I want to do in my last few months before my birthday.

This list doesn’t mean that I am not happy with myself. Of course everyone has their qualities that they would like to improve on. I just have the tendency to evaluate and reevaluate.

The list contains improvements, new aspects of life, and me being honest with myself.

1.     Be the Trojan – There are five qualities of an ideal Trojan - Faithful, Scholarly, Skillful, Courageous and Ambitious – somehow over the course of this semester and senior year I hope to acquire (or, if I already possess it, improve on) these qualities. Since I don’t live on, near or relatively close to campus, I want to spend as much time as I can taking it all in. I want to visit or step inside every building and take advantage of what USC has to offer its students.

2.     Work on my fitness – I always say that I’m going to gain weight and go to the gym. As you can probably tell I haven’t been doing much of either. So, this year I plan to gain weight, eat healthy, and work out.

3.     Once a Weeks: 

a.     Cook at least one meal a week – This saves money and also preps me for the rest of my life. I’m probably going to get stuck in the comfortable, so I’ve decided to add an extra challenge by saying that I want to try out different recipes. If you happen to have any handy please send them over!

b.     Go somewhere alone once a week – As an extrovert, it is nice to get away from people for a while. However, as I have tested this week it probably isn’t the best for an extended period of time. So, once a week, I plan to slip away from society and block out the world to focus on me. Clarity.

c.     Have dinner with someone – From the bests, to the acquaintances, to the old friends, etc. One-on-one dinners are great for conversation and the mind. This semester I hope to reconnect with people that I’ve been neglecting. Hopefully this will help me towards that goal.

d.     See the family – My family misses me. I miss them. The only issue is that I can’t for the life of me last at home home for more than a few hours at a time. I don’t know what that is during the semester, but I hope to find the self-control and the heart to stay for them. I also need to do it for myself. Family is forever. I need to remember that I need to be there during this time for Sergio and my parents.

4.     Organize and Maintain – Every. Aspect. Of. Life. This goes for the loft, my inboxes, the laptop, filing papers, etc. Delete/throw away/donate anything that isn’t necessary. Set up organizational systems and the like to make everything easier and more efficient. I already started doing this at the loft. I purged my side of everything that I didn’t need, use, or consumed an unnecessary amount of space. I’ve been trying my best to maintain.

5.     Stop Cursing – Another thing I said that I would do many years ago. I’ve used many a technique to eliminate these nasty words from my speech. I’ve tried snapping myself with rubber bands to associate the words with pain… Prayer. Other words the express myself like “Effing, Shoot, Darn, Donkey, Female Dog” to replace the words but nothing seemed to work. Now, with a higher degree of self-control, and hopefully a support group behind me, I will try my best to rid my casual speech of bad words (and ums).

6.     Rebrand – I’m turning 21. It’s about time to grow up and get a more sophisticated image. This encompasses many facets of my life from social media to design to clothing. The last time I printed business cards I was the 19. I plan to finally change my signature after not changing it since high school. I’m going to drop ‘alecisamazing’ and opt for something more humble like, I don’t know, my name? My closet and color palette are rather sophisticated I would say. The one thing that is never constant is my hair. I plan to get it groomed regularly instead of this cut-let it grow out until it looks like a mushroom thing that I have going on now. Hello, my name is Alec Matthew. I’ve decided that I should use my middle name more often since it is kind of apart of me.  

7.     Explore – I live in LA. There are so many things to see in this city and the surrounding areas. I need to expand my comfort zone and go to places that I haven’t been before. New restaurants, streets, hang outs, etc. Everything. I plan on compiling a list and going to a new location every time I feel the urge to go to a place where I’m comfortable. Volunteer! Help at shelters! Go to shows! Walk around aimlessly! Get lost! I hope I don’t limit myself to just LA. Try all over California. Different states. Different countries! There are so many options.

8.     Be Thankful – I say “thank you” quite often, but I don’t think I say it enough and with enough message behind it. Now, I’m going to say “thank you” and tell people why I’m thankful for who they are, what they bring to my life, etc. People might think I’m drunk for the first few ones, but I’m going to get the message across as clearly and articulately as possible. 

9.     Make meaningful memories and bonds – This is kind of what college is about beyond academics and extracurricular activities. As recent events have taught me, every moment is precious and every interaction is meaningful. Never take for granted those around you and the ones you hold close. I plan to make the most out of every thing and hopefully make a memory along the way that will make my bonds with other people stronger.  

10.  Get rid of expectations – Expectations are tricky. I have my own expectations for myself, but I realized recently that I can’t hold them for other people. This could be because of upbringing, cultural differences, priorities, or emotional investment. The list goes on, but at the end of the day I have to get rid of expectations since they can lead to disappointment.

11.  Be silent – Listen. Take in the conversation before speaking. Process. I want to close my eyes and listen for the little things that I wouldn’t normally hear. Vocal rest would be nice once and a while too.

12.  Find new activities – Volunteer! Hike regularly! Pick up a new hobby or bring an old one back. Maybe a sport? Something art related?

13.  Honesty – I’m pretty honest to begin with, but what I think this one comes down to is honest communication. I read a book recently called “That’s Not What I Meant” and basically the message of the book is that we don’t use the words that we want to use so that the people we talk to don’t get offended, hurt, or angered.  It pacifies the situation but doesn’t get our true message across. So, I plan to practice honest communication. Which means, when I feel the need to get things of my chest, instead of attacking my moleskine I will talk to the person that I need to talk to. Also, being honest in other aspects of my life as well.

14.  Interdependent – I used to say that I wanted to be independent, but after the speaker I had in class today I decided those days are over. It doesn’t really make sense for me to say that I want to be independent since when it comes down to it I’m dependent on people (read: my parents) for so many things (read: life). I think this one relates to my friendships more though.  According to Wikipedia, an interdependent relationship requires that both parties are mutually and physically responsible to, and sharing a common set of principles with others. Two people (states, countries, communities, etc) that cooperate with each other are said to be interdependent. “I can do it for others.”

15.  Learn – Keep learning! With the various tracks that I want to go down, I can’t stop learning. I have to improve and maintain my academics in order to get to where I want to be. I can also throw in a language or other skills that could be useful.

16.  New (Good) Habits – Something that will take a lot of honesty on my part would be to look at my habits and really evaluate whether or not they are healthy or unhealthy. Hopefully everything on this list promotes good habits.

17.  Body, mind, and soul – I need to be able to be comfortable in my own skin. When it comes down to it my body, who I am, and my values are the only things I truly own and have control over. I’ve dropped the socially constructed idea of perfection and realized that you can be perfect for the situation, for a person, or for life. So, hopefully, I am perfect for you. And if I’m not I will try my best to be. That and I’m an able bodied person. I take my youth and health for granted. I need to take advantage of this body before it starts to get old and tired. This kind of relates to the new activities/work out one but more on a personal internal thought process level.

18.  Give a little – I tend to just talk. I plan to exercise more self-control and not give personal information about myself in one go. I have a tendency to trust quickly which leaves me open to getting hurt. So, I plan to take a step back. Evaluate the situation before I divulge personal information. This also goes for my personality. I need to kind of introduce people to my crazy. Start light and then work my way up, turning the crazy dial ever so slightly with each interaction. I guess I can relate this to other aspects of my life as well. I tend to give a lot. When I deem you close, I give as much as I can without anything in return. It’s not like I’m saying that this is a bad thing. I’m just saying that maybe this isn’t what people need or want out of a friendship with me. So, I need to learn how to gauge this and adapt accordingly.

19.  Define and be Love – Something I’ve been reflecting on is my personal definition of love. So far, I’ve written quite a lot about it and come to the conclusion that my definition of love is multifaceted. It’s still a bunch of thoughts, but I will define what love is to me and share it with the masses. Which leads me to my next point, I want to practice Unconditional Love.

20.  Love and Time – I have a lot of love to go around but time is finite. Since time is so limited every moment spent is meaningful and should be spent with those who I hold close and love.

21.  Just Do It – I have a tendency to second guess my actions and work out other routes to do things. Instead of taking the time to question, I need to just do it. This can go for so many aspects in my life from the mundane tasks to the more complex decisions.

This list isn’t really 21 things. It’s more like SO MANY things listed into 21 groups. But, I’m okay with that. This is about self-improvement and being honest with myself. These things listed hopefully will make me a more satisfied, confident, and mature person as I turn 21. Some of the items on this list are subject to change, but as of right now I feel like this list is good. I hope you join me in this by being supportive and honest with me if I start to lose my way.

I’m not eloquent like Isabelle. I’m not good at keeping it short like Jeffrey. My grammar, sentence structure, and the like might not be as strong as my sister’s. BUT, I do know that I have the best hips. With that said, 4word is to me:

A support system - Basically, whenever one of us has an issue - say a crazy relationship, unrequited love, weaves, or food in general - we turn to 4word. Hash out our life, receive 3 different perspectives on the topic, and move forward. Though it may take some time, we will eventually move forward because of the support system that is 4word. This blog may turn into therapy for some of us or an advice column for the readers. Be prepared. Bring popcorn. 

A means of communication - 1belle peaced the US. As emotional as that was, we promised to keep in contact. However, the three of us that still see each other on the regular have schedules that happen to hate each other. Which gives little time to discuss topics I feel we’re going to randomly cover here. So, if anything, this is a way for us to voice our randomness on our own time, own space, and in a neat orderly fashion. Be prepare for 4 different perspectives from 4 different people at 4 different points in life. I’m the youngest. 

A concert - Please refer to 1belle’s beautiful leaving letter. You may cry. If you happen to cry, make sure it’s in the comfort of your own room. I made the mistake of reading the letter during lecture. I’m known to cause a scene, but this was one of those moments that I would rather have spent with a tissue not a textbook. Or you can break it down and say that we all like to sing and can carry a tune. We happen to like Mariah Carey. 

4word is an opportunity on multiple levels.

1. 4word is an opportunity to take a singular issue and provide 4 contrasting perspectives on that issue. All four contributers are in very different places in their life and have very different opinions.

2. 4word allows the four of us to stay connected, regardless of geographical distance. Let’s face facts, It’s going to be a little more difficult to stay in touch now that 1belle is away in the Philippines. Weekly posts will remind us to stay in touch, and remind us how much we miss each other.

3. 4word is a means of creative expression. Writing calls for creativity, and this social experiment will allow me to utilize and grow that creativity.

I like lists, get used to it.

What came first, 4word or the egg?

In our case, it was the egg.

Seated at one of our most frequented walking-distance restaurants in LA, 4 of us got to talking. There was a twentysomething entrepreneur prodigy, a YouTube star, and Mariah Carey’s future gay son. Oh, and me. The social entrepreneur who seems to enjoy cheese and bossing people around.

So, the egg. Or, eggs.

“Breakfast is the best meal of the day.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s alright.”

“How do you guys like your eggs?”

And, I’m not kidding you, in one breath,

“Benedict.”

“Scrambled.”

“Over-easy. With cheese. Or ketchup.”

“I don’t really like eggs.”

We burst out laughing. Then, we said we should start share a blog. Tackling our individual and our collective.

4word aims to do just that. Provide a forum for us, as individuals, to share our own personal thoughts, and celebrate and appreciate each other’s opinions. And, together, unify the world and blur the lines of difference. And some people find us funny. Collectively. Individually, depends on who it is. Just kidding.

We’re starting with “What is 4word?” We may get to “Would you rather?” We’ll end up somewhere between dreaming up world domination and who to invite to dinner (dead or alive).

But one thing is for sure. 4word is going somewhere. Everywhere, one of us would chime in.

But it all started, with the egg.

-1belle

The foreword is the part of the book that comes just before the beginning.

Oh wait, you don’t read books anymore? Okay.

So, pretend this book is a DVD; the foreword would be the special extras with commentary, a little bit about how the story was developed, cast, filmed and the people involved in making the story come to life. The foreword is about how the real story came to be— and that’s what we’re trying to do here, with this blog. The 4 of us, different as we all are, make one crazy story. As we move forward, together or thousands of miles apart, this is our way of remembering and acknowledging that different is good.

We’re like a sisterhood of traveling pants. Except we don’t travel, only two of us are sisters, and we don’t share one pair of pants because that’s unsanitary. Sharing a blog is so much more hygienic.